As the wise men of Semisonic once said, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Wise, right? (I'm not entirely certain they were all men, or that whoever wrote the song was male, or that there was more than one of them, and it wasn't some shit like 5 for Fighting, which is totally just one guy...but I'm not about to wikipedia it. Maybe later.)
My good friend Crispy noted (in a comment, which is something you all have the capability to do, ahem), and I hope you would by now have noticed, I have a new blog. “New” naturally connotes the existence of “old” blog(s). These most certainly also existed, for however short a time.
I’d like to take a brief yet verbose moment to remember them, in order that we all may swiftly forget them.
First, there were blogs at school. “Post thoughts on weekly reading here!” “Grouply discuss your deep thoughts with each other!” “Pretend to know what you and others are talking about!” “Try not to accidentally type quotes from the episode of Deadliest Catch you and your roommate are watching while you’re doing this!”
I wasn’t very good at those. This is mainly because I get overwhelmed by technology that’s still in developmental stages, as my college’s blog system inevitably was. I also didn’t really like anyone in any of my classes and therefore wasn’t inclined to care what they thought.
Needless to say, my participation in these was minimal at best.
Next, there was my post-graduate life-recapping How to Be a Tempestuous Bitch. This one started out well enough, as an inappropriate overshare of my life and relationships. It crashed and burned when I ended up in a relationship that could delicately be described as “rocky.”
In reality, it could be described as the most passive-aggressiveness-laden, emotionally abusive relationship I have ever been anywhere near (and hopefully the only one). Eventually, I realized how embarrassing it was to publicly chronicle my descent into Lifetime movie-esque drama; I stopped updating the blog, and recently deleted it altogether.
A year later, I was in a much better place mentally and was preparing to be in a much better place physically. Ms Anthropy’s Philanthropy was born.
And then died.
I was narrating my short road trip and planned to narrate my path leading to Costa Rica. No one seemed to care what was going on, as no one was commenting on anything or acknowledging the existence of the blog in any way. So I stopped updating, since I like to at least pretend other people are reading what I’m writing, and that was difficult without any proof. (I've since been made aware of the "stats" feature of blogger, so I can now see how many people actually visit my page. This does not excuse you from not leaving comments. If you don't leave a comment, at least tell a friend about me, so that I can squeal with delight when the number goes from "2" to "3" when I hit refresh.)
Anyway, all those things fizzled out, and then I had lunch with my dear friend Smells, who was in town doing some wedding planning, and whose name is not actually Smells. Among other things that happened that day (not the least of which was lunch at Tony’s. Mmm), Smells introduced me to a hilarious blog-comic-hybrid called Hyperbole and a Half. You will notice a link to your right. Go there. I’ll link it here, too, for good measure.
It’s basically the funniest thing I’ve ever encountered. If you can read a single post without cracking a smile, you are inhuman. If you can make it through the “party” post without crying from laughter, you are literally a zombie and can therefore be excused since it doesn’t have much to do with brains.
Allie, the artful and ADHD-addled mind behind the blog just tells stories about her life of unemployment in Montana. And she makes her living doing this! And almost nothing else!
As nothing else is what I have been doing an awful lot of lately, I was inspired to actually get my shit together enough to write a little bit about life in general. A few days after this new-found impetus, I was driving home from the gym listening to a mix CD I had made by picking songs that had fun names or were less than 4 minutes long.
And that, my friends, is the birth of Taking the Long Way.
My good friend Crispy noted (in a comment, which is something you all have the capability to do, ahem), and I hope you would by now have noticed, I have a new blog. “New” naturally connotes the existence of “old” blog(s). These most certainly also existed, for however short a time.
I’d like to take a brief yet verbose moment to remember them, in order that we all may swiftly forget them.
First, there were blogs at school. “Post thoughts on weekly reading here!” “Grouply discuss your deep thoughts with each other!” “Pretend to know what you and others are talking about!” “Try not to accidentally type quotes from the episode of Deadliest Catch you and your roommate are watching while you’re doing this!”
I wasn’t very good at those. This is mainly because I get overwhelmed by technology that’s still in developmental stages, as my college’s blog system inevitably was. I also didn’t really like anyone in any of my classes and therefore wasn’t inclined to care what they thought.
Needless to say, my participation in these was minimal at best.
Next, there was my post-graduate life-recapping How to Be a Tempestuous Bitch. This one started out well enough, as an inappropriate overshare of my life and relationships. It crashed and burned when I ended up in a relationship that could delicately be described as “rocky.”
In reality, it could be described as the most passive-aggressiveness-laden, emotionally abusive relationship I have ever been anywhere near (and hopefully the only one). Eventually, I realized how embarrassing it was to publicly chronicle my descent into Lifetime movie-esque drama; I stopped updating the blog, and recently deleted it altogether.
A year later, I was in a much better place mentally and was preparing to be in a much better place physically. Ms Anthropy’s Philanthropy was born.
And then died.
I was narrating my short road trip and planned to narrate my path leading to Costa Rica. No one seemed to care what was going on, as no one was commenting on anything or acknowledging the existence of the blog in any way. So I stopped updating, since I like to at least pretend other people are reading what I’m writing, and that was difficult without any proof. (I've since been made aware of the "stats" feature of blogger, so I can now see how many people actually visit my page. This does not excuse you from not leaving comments. If you don't leave a comment, at least tell a friend about me, so that I can squeal with delight when the number goes from "2" to "3" when I hit refresh.)
Anyway, all those things fizzled out, and then I had lunch with my dear friend Smells, who was in town doing some wedding planning, and whose name is not actually Smells. Among other things that happened that day (not the least of which was lunch at Tony’s. Mmm), Smells introduced me to a hilarious blog-comic-hybrid called Hyperbole and a Half. You will notice a link to your right. Go there. I’ll link it here, too, for good measure.
It’s basically the funniest thing I’ve ever encountered. If you can read a single post without cracking a smile, you are inhuman. If you can make it through the “party” post without crying from laughter, you are literally a zombie and can therefore be excused since it doesn’t have much to do with brains.
Allie, the artful and ADHD-addled mind behind the blog just tells stories about her life of unemployment in Montana. And she makes her living doing this! And almost nothing else!
As nothing else is what I have been doing an awful lot of lately, I was inspired to actually get my shit together enough to write a little bit about life in general. A few days after this new-found impetus, I was driving home from the gym listening to a mix CD I had made by picking songs that had fun names or were less than 4 minutes long.
And that, my friends, is the birth of Taking the Long Way.
I seriously had no idea that "Ms Anthropy" existed. I kept waiting for the tempestuous bitch to come back.
ReplyDelete(Chrispy me too! I wondered where the bitch had gone.)
ReplyDeleteps I will comment on your blog my dear Tallison as long as you promise to keep writing your witty and hilarious posts. Because I adore them and never fail to laugh loudly and inappropriately when I read them. I'll have to make a note not to read your blog in public. It's not your fault that you're one of the most intelligently hilarious women I know.
What about OpenDiary? Was that a blog? Hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteMy Tallison
ReplyDeleteI will comment to your hearts content as long as you keep me updated on your life. Like many others, I was waiting for the Bitch to come back as well. But, I am fully aware now of why it is not. I also firmly believe that it can be embarrassing airing your...decisions online to a world full of strangers. Thats why my status updates on facebook generally consist of things about my turtle- who needs a little house by the way and a small water dish. I think you are amazing. I am so happy this blog is back. I will immediately add it to my blog postings right now (and delete the bitch as she is no more...) Kisses. And happy tequila and tanya harding Tuesday
Happy to serve as an inspiration-provider. *bows*
ReplyDeleteYeah, the bitch was never coming back. But it's for the best.
ReplyDeleteXtine: deal.
Angi: I actually forgot about open diary until right after I posted this. I decided not to add it. I'm pretty sure mine still exists somewhere...I'd hate to go back and read what my 8th grade self had to say...shudder.
Katie: I hope Ichabod gets a water dish soon, I hear turtles and most organic things like water. As far as tequila and tanya harding tuesday, all I have to say is "huuwhaaayyy? whuhayyy? wasn't I made aware of this sooner?"
Smells: thanks. If I become rich and famous, I will give you credit.
I'm the absolute worst at keeping in touch, but I think of you all the time. I miss you loads.
ReplyDeleteI found this when I was on facebook randomly (pretty rare these days) and I'm really glad I did. I'll comment instead of just read if it helps you keep it up. Maybe it will make me feel like I'm only a thousand light years away instead of a million.